I haven't posted here for a while because in all honesty, I haven't really been dieting in a while. The best I've had in the last week and a half is one whole day on 810kcals and a couple that were nearly there but the rest of the time I've been a complete cheat and I feel very stupid. I've even strayed into the terrible realm of cakes and chocolate which is not the direction I usually go when I cheat. Now I'm not really sure what to do, I might need to take drastic steps and go back to Sole Source for a week! I thought about trying Sole Source Plus but it's too similar to 810 which I'm failing at so miserably. I'm going to finish the week, get through the weekend and past my birthday (which is Saturday in case any of you fancy sending me prezzies!) and start next week afresh.
In other news, I bought myself a motorbike today. It's a Yamaha TW125 and I love it! The exhaust is a little bit loud and I might have to get it fixed soon but apart from that it seems to be in good shape for a 10 year old bike. I promise I'll share a photo of it soon.
Wednesday, 22 April 2009
Days 207 - 217
Labels:
810,
appetite change,
Cambridge Diet,
cheating,
diet,
doubt,
guilt,
hunger,
LCD,
motorcycling,
plans,
Sole Source,
SS,
Step 2 - 810 kcal,
stress,
weight loss
Saturday, 11 April 2009
Days 198 - 206 - CDC Meeting
Labels:
810,
Cambridge Diet,
cheating,
counselling,
diet,
feeling ill,
friends,
hunger,
LCD,
motorcycling,
plans,
Step 2 - 810 kcal,
stress,
weight loss
Since I last posted here my life has been up and down and all over the place, along with the diet really.
When I got home from my bike training, I had a couple of hours to tidy up and sort my flat out a bit before my friend arrived to stay for a week on her way home to Scotland from Thailand. The lucky lady managed to miss all the really horrible cold weather and came back to the UK to be greeted by blue skies and sunshine. I did feel a bit mean to have a friend staying and not be feeding her but as she has stayed here before while I've been on CD, she knew what to expect and was very understanding about it all. A friend came to visit and brought home-made flapjacks, while they were munching away on those, I was eating little pieces of cranberry bar so I didn't feel hard-done-by at all. I don't mind when people eat meals around me, but when I someone is snacking, eating small amounts over a longer period of time, I find it quite hard to cope with. The boyfriend is a peanut addict, he will often sit around with a massive bag of them and will just eat them slowly over a couple of hours and it drives me completely mad, especially when I'm not in ketosis.
Since I got home from the wedding I've not been back in ketosis yet at all and consequently I've been feeling extremely hungry indeed. I've done my very best to stick to the diet despite the hunger, some days are easier than others though. I've been trying to keep myself as busy as possible but I've not had much work lately and it's been difficult to distract myself at times. I had a pleasant and restful weekend and still managed to stick to the diet so I'm very pleased with myself. Weekends are always the most difficult times for CD so I gave myself a big pat on the back for getting through it, in fact I've been treating every single day that I've managed to stick to it as a victory.
On Tuesday I had a meeting with my CDC to buy in a couple of weeks worth of extra sachets because he's off on holiday for a few weeks and because he actually came over during the day, the boyfriend finally got to meet him. I also had an unscheduled weigh-in and the result was a bit of a pleasant surprise to me:
On Thursday night, the lack of ketosis finally got the better of me and I cracked and had takeaway pizza with my friend. It was a pretty stupid thing to do, we both have problems eating cheese, I'm a little lactose intolerant and it makes her feel ill too. So we ate a fair amount of pizza and thoroughly enjoyed it and both felt quite unwell the next day. I was hoping that would stop me eating stupid things for a while but it didn't have the desired effect and for the last couple of days I've been failing to resist the lure of real food. It's been fairly sensible real food but it's not been CD by any stretch of the imagination.
Today I went to look at a motorbike I was hoping to buy but it was a bit too expensive and not quite what I was after so as I was at the bike shop anyway, I bought some proper waterproof trousers with armour in the knees and I hired a motorbike for the week instead. As I rode away on it, I thought for a brief moment that £150 for a bike I don't get to keep was a bit of a waste of money but it's all good practice and that's what I need right now the most so I'm counting this week with a hired bike as part of my training. I get better and feel more confident and in control every time I get on a motorbike, hopefully soon I'll be able to go out for a ride without stalling at junctions (which has only happened 3 times) or wobbling a little at low speeds. On my way home I had my first ride in proper rain and also had my first encounter with the police! I stalled the bike at some traffic lights, it took a couple of attempts to get the bike running again but then I pulled away perfectly and went on my way. A couple of seconds later it became apparent that the white van that had been behind me at the junction was in fact a police van, I'm quite surprised that I didn't notice until the blue lights started flashing. I pulled over and a smiley young policeman got out of the van and walked over to me. He asked to see my license and asked about the bike to check I was supposed to be riding it then he asked to smell my breath to check I hadn't been drinking. He said he just wanted to make sure that everything checked out and if so he wanted to make sure that I was OK, he was very polite and courteous indeed. I promised him I would practice a lot and be a better rider soon and he gave me a big thumbs-up as he got back into the van. What a nice chap!
My plan for the weekend is to just do lots of riding and enjoy the bike as much as I can before I give it back on Saturday. I can't wait, I love riding more than I ever thought I would and it's a good distraction from food too.
When I got home from my bike training, I had a couple of hours to tidy up and sort my flat out a bit before my friend arrived to stay for a week on her way home to Scotland from Thailand. The lucky lady managed to miss all the really horrible cold weather and came back to the UK to be greeted by blue skies and sunshine. I did feel a bit mean to have a friend staying and not be feeding her but as she has stayed here before while I've been on CD, she knew what to expect and was very understanding about it all. A friend came to visit and brought home-made flapjacks, while they were munching away on those, I was eating little pieces of cranberry bar so I didn't feel hard-done-by at all. I don't mind when people eat meals around me, but when I someone is snacking, eating small amounts over a longer period of time, I find it quite hard to cope with. The boyfriend is a peanut addict, he will often sit around with a massive bag of them and will just eat them slowly over a couple of hours and it drives me completely mad, especially when I'm not in ketosis.
Since I got home from the wedding I've not been back in ketosis yet at all and consequently I've been feeling extremely hungry indeed. I've done my very best to stick to the diet despite the hunger, some days are easier than others though. I've been trying to keep myself as busy as possible but I've not had much work lately and it's been difficult to distract myself at times. I had a pleasant and restful weekend and still managed to stick to the diet so I'm very pleased with myself. Weekends are always the most difficult times for CD so I gave myself a big pat on the back for getting through it, in fact I've been treating every single day that I've managed to stick to it as a victory.
On Tuesday I had a meeting with my CDC to buy in a couple of weeks worth of extra sachets because he's off on holiday for a few weeks and because he actually came over during the day, the boyfriend finally got to meet him. I also had an unscheduled weigh-in and the result was a bit of a pleasant surprise to me:
- Weight: 13st 5.5lb
- BMI: 29.7
On Thursday night, the lack of ketosis finally got the better of me and I cracked and had takeaway pizza with my friend. It was a pretty stupid thing to do, we both have problems eating cheese, I'm a little lactose intolerant and it makes her feel ill too. So we ate a fair amount of pizza and thoroughly enjoyed it and both felt quite unwell the next day. I was hoping that would stop me eating stupid things for a while but it didn't have the desired effect and for the last couple of days I've been failing to resist the lure of real food. It's been fairly sensible real food but it's not been CD by any stretch of the imagination.
Today I went to look at a motorbike I was hoping to buy but it was a bit too expensive and not quite what I was after so as I was at the bike shop anyway, I bought some proper waterproof trousers with armour in the knees and I hired a motorbike for the week instead. As I rode away on it, I thought for a brief moment that £150 for a bike I don't get to keep was a bit of a waste of money but it's all good practice and that's what I need right now the most so I'm counting this week with a hired bike as part of my training. I get better and feel more confident and in control every time I get on a motorbike, hopefully soon I'll be able to go out for a ride without stalling at junctions (which has only happened 3 times) or wobbling a little at low speeds. On my way home I had my first ride in proper rain and also had my first encounter with the police! I stalled the bike at some traffic lights, it took a couple of attempts to get the bike running again but then I pulled away perfectly and went on my way. A couple of seconds later it became apparent that the white van that had been behind me at the junction was in fact a police van, I'm quite surprised that I didn't notice until the blue lights started flashing. I pulled over and a smiley young policeman got out of the van and walked over to me. He asked to see my license and asked about the bike to check I was supposed to be riding it then he asked to smell my breath to check I hadn't been drinking. He said he just wanted to make sure that everything checked out and if so he wanted to make sure that I was OK, he was very polite and courteous indeed. I promised him I would practice a lot and be a better rider soon and he gave me a big thumbs-up as he got back into the van. What a nice chap!
My plan for the weekend is to just do lots of riding and enjoy the bike as much as I can before I give it back on Saturday. I can't wait, I love riding more than I ever thought I would and it's a good distraction from food too.
Thursday, 2 April 2009
Days 196 + 197
Labels:
810,
Cambridge Diet,
diet,
hunger,
insomnia,
LCD,
motorcycling,
positivity,
Step 2 - 810 kcal,
stress,
weight loss
I've had a really fun couple of busy days, I'm feeling so happy but completely worn out.
As regular readers of my blog will know, I've recently been learning to ride a motorbike. I did my CBT on an automatic bike a few weeks ago, then last week, I started brushing up on my geared motorbike skills before I went out and bought a motorbike of my own. This week I've been completing my training on a geared bike. When I turned up for Wednesday's session, I was a little disappointed to find that unlike last week, I wasn't being trained on my own. Luckily the other student was a really lovely guy, he's a model builder and a computer geek and really passionate about learning to ride so we got on pretty well. I was hoping that it would only take one more session to get good enough to go out for a road ride, mostly for financial reasons, but during yesterday's lesson, I wasn't really feeling confident enough to go out yet and the other guy wasn't quite up to it yet either. So we spent the rest of the session off road to hone our low speed skills and control a little more, then today we all went out for a nice long ride.
At the end of yesterday's lesson, I was feeling incredibly excited and positive about today's planned ride, but as the evening wore on, I became more and more nervous and worried about it. While I was lying in bed, trying to sleep, it was all I could think about and it made for a really poor night's sleep, about 3 or 4 hours altogether with some really disturbing stress dreams too! By time I got to the riding school, I was feeling frazzled, anxious and pretty apprehensive but my instructor was his usual sunny, encouraging self and really helped to make me feel at ease and as soon as we got out on the road, my confidence started to pick up and I really started enjoying myself.
After the ride we all sat around in the bike showroom with the instructor's wife (who works there too), drinking coffee and having a nice chat about where we needed improvement, what our plans for future riding/training were and what sort of bikes we fancied riding. He gave us lots of great tips and things to watch out for on the road and we had a chat about protective clothing. He asked why I had all my own kit apart from trousers and I told him that I had bought the jacket a few years ago but I was waiting for my weight to settle a bit before I bought trousers. I may have possibly mentioned (gloated) that I'd managed to shift about 5 stones in the last 6 months and my instructor's wife was amazed and curious. I explained a bit about CD and the next thing I knew, she was on the phone finding out about her nearest CDC!!
Anyway, I did well on my assessment ride, my instructor is happy for me to go out and ride a geared bike on my own and I'm so pleased! Also, I've been so preoccupied with bike stuff for the last 2 days, I've not had time to eat, even though I've been feeling hungry and I'm not back in ketosis yet. I'm sure it'll come soon enough though, I just have to keep going like this and I'll be fine.
As regular readers of my blog will know, I've recently been learning to ride a motorbike. I did my CBT on an automatic bike a few weeks ago, then last week, I started brushing up on my geared motorbike skills before I went out and bought a motorbike of my own. This week I've been completing my training on a geared bike. When I turned up for Wednesday's session, I was a little disappointed to find that unlike last week, I wasn't being trained on my own. Luckily the other student was a really lovely guy, he's a model builder and a computer geek and really passionate about learning to ride so we got on pretty well. I was hoping that it would only take one more session to get good enough to go out for a road ride, mostly for financial reasons, but during yesterday's lesson, I wasn't really feeling confident enough to go out yet and the other guy wasn't quite up to it yet either. So we spent the rest of the session off road to hone our low speed skills and control a little more, then today we all went out for a nice long ride.
At the end of yesterday's lesson, I was feeling incredibly excited and positive about today's planned ride, but as the evening wore on, I became more and more nervous and worried about it. While I was lying in bed, trying to sleep, it was all I could think about and it made for a really poor night's sleep, about 3 or 4 hours altogether with some really disturbing stress dreams too! By time I got to the riding school, I was feeling frazzled, anxious and pretty apprehensive but my instructor was his usual sunny, encouraging self and really helped to make me feel at ease and as soon as we got out on the road, my confidence started to pick up and I really started enjoying myself.
After the ride we all sat around in the bike showroom with the instructor's wife (who works there too), drinking coffee and having a nice chat about where we needed improvement, what our plans for future riding/training were and what sort of bikes we fancied riding. He gave us lots of great tips and things to watch out for on the road and we had a chat about protective clothing. He asked why I had all my own kit apart from trousers and I told him that I had bought the jacket a few years ago but I was waiting for my weight to settle a bit before I bought trousers. I may have possibly mentioned (gloated) that I'd managed to shift about 5 stones in the last 6 months and my instructor's wife was amazed and curious. I explained a bit about CD and the next thing I knew, she was on the phone finding out about her nearest CDC!!
Anyway, I did well on my assessment ride, my instructor is happy for me to go out and ride a geared bike on my own and I'm so pleased! Also, I've been so preoccupied with bike stuff for the last 2 days, I've not had time to eat, even though I've been feeling hungry and I'm not back in ketosis yet. I'm sure it'll come soon enough though, I just have to keep going like this and I'll be fine.
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