Day 12

After only 3 hours sleep I hauled myself out of bed this morning and went to my doctor. I've seen a few different doctors at the practice and I don't get on very well with a couple of them but today's appointment went very well indeed. I got to see a friendly, helpful young doctor, not yet jaded by seeing thousands of people with colds, demanding medication. She signed my form straight away, congratulated me on taking action to lose weight and referred me for some physiotherapy on my poor old knee. She also offered me some drugs to help me lose weight if I wanted them but I politely declined and she seemed pleasantly surprised by that! As soon as I got home, I called my counsellor and after a quick discussion, we decided that I wouldn't change down to a lower calorie plan until after I see him on Thursday but seeing as my appetite has been diminished recently I'm actually looking forward to it.

I didn't have time for breakfast this morning but I did manage to chuck a veggie soup down my neck and I had a proper lunch when I got home from the doctors followed by a cappuccino sachet made up with warm water, it was lovely! I had a rather nice chicken and noodle dinner followed by an apple and tried to enjoy it a little more than usual, dinners like that are going to be getting scarce soon....

Day 11

My CDC returned from his holiday today and called me to see how I was doing. I told him about my corned-beef hiccup which is the worst slip up I've had. Apart from that there have only been a few crackers and two non recipe but very sensible meals. He emailed me a letter to print off and take along to my doctors appointment tomorrow morning. I've collected my booklets and the form together so I'm all ready to go but I'm feeling really nervy about it, I don't know why. I guess I'm just anxious to get started on SS and really shifting some weight. It's not that I'm not pleased with my progress so far but the weight-loss on SS can be pretty drastic. It's exciting! I just hope I can wake up in time, my sleep pattern is still somewhat wonky after my insomnia at the weekend.

When I get the go-ahead to start SS, I've planned to go down the diet stages first, a couple of days on 1000kcals, a couple on 810kcals and a couple on 615kcals before I go all the way down to SS. CDC said that it's a pretty good idea and could help me avoid the carb withdrawal which can be quite unpleasant.

I had no appetite today again but luckily, I had no difficulty swigging lots of fluids. I had a soup sachet for breakfast, a chocolate sachet made up with warm water for my lunch and for my evening meal I had a small, dry-fried chicken breast, mushrooms and yellow pepper with masses of salad leaves and a thick slice of granary bread. I really hope that's OK.

Days 9 + 10

I've had a tricky weekend, partly because the boyfriend was here and partly because I had a bit of insomnia on Friday night and had to take a nap during the day on Saturday to stop myself from falling over in a useless heap.

I got up around 7AM on Saturday after laying in bed for 4 hours and failing to get any sleep. I had a soup sachet, a slice of toast some water and some tea but couldn't manage the fruit and yoghurt I had planned. I ate pasta and ham salad for my lunch as soon as I woke from my nap in the late afternoon but couldn't manage another sachet at that time so I had it a few hours later.

While I was asleep, the boyfriend went out shopping and by the look of what he bought, it seems he totally forgot about my diet. He spent a small fortune on things I couldn't eat; pork belly, smoked-mackerel, white bread, sweetened soy milk and various other things and he forgot half the stuff I asked for! You could really tell he'd been to the pub first. I guess that'll teach me for not doing it myself. Later while I was preparing some dinner for myself, I realised he had also bought enormous quarter-pounder Quorn burgers instead of the regular sized ones. I'd already started cooking it before I noticed how massive it was so I had to eat it really but it did look quite amusing hanging out of the tiny wholemeal roll.

Much later that night, early morning really, I was still awake due to my lunchtime nap and was feeling so hungry I could scream. Even my fruit dessert and a huge mug veggie bouillon didn't take the edge off it and I'm ashamed to say I had a toasted corned-beef sandwich with pickle. I guess it could have been so much worse with all the fatty meat in the house but I'm still pretty ashamed.

Even though I woke up really late on Sunday morning, I did my best to be a good CDer. For breakfast I had my fruit and yoghurt, a chicken and mushroom soup sachet, also instead of jam on my toast I just had a little bit of low-fat spread on it and dunked it in my soup, very nice! For lunch I had a Quorn burger and salad followed by a vanilla sachet blended with lots of ice and some instant decaffeinated coffee and for my dinner I had a ham and pasta salad. I've swigged plenty of water over the course if the day, I'm not sure how much, I forgot to count but I'm sure it's enough. I've been very well behaved!

Day 8

I woke up really late but nice and hungry today. I managed to sleep for 11 hours for some unknown reason! My poor boyfriend tried to wake me when he got home from work and apparently I was quite unpleasant to him, I don't remember it at all. After a nice egg and tomato breakfast, I decided to see if an only just drinkable chocolate shake could be improved with the addition of a spoonful of decaf instant coffee granules and it worked a treat! I noticed today that the amount of water that I add to shakes has crept up over the week, the are getting closer and closer to the pint mark which can't be a bad thing, I still feel thirsty as soon as I've finished though.

I braved the scales after breakfast, I'm down 7lbs from my start weight and I've lost 2 ins from around my waist, even though it's TOTM so I'm really pleased. I sat down to a pasta salad and veggie soup lunch feeling very smug indeed. For dinner I defrosted the last 2 portions of the tuna lasagne I made last week so I could feed some to boyfriend so he could know what I'd been enthusing about. I hope he enjoys it.

Day 7

I'm not proud of myself but last night I cheated again. I was trying to sleep but I felt so hungry I just had to eat something, I had 2 oatcakes (the cracker type) with a little sliver of low-fat cheddar on each. I know that's not too bad really in the grand scheme of things, and it's actually quite restrained considering all the food in my house that I could have had instead, but I know I've let myself down and really should have stuck to the food plan yesterday.

Today I've behaved myself a little better than yesterday and had a proper breakfast of citrus fruit and yoghurt, then later in the morning I had a shake sachet. I tried the strawberry flavour, one of the flavours I wasn't looking forward to and it was pretty unpleasant. After one little sip I was ready to throw it away but that's not my style so I put a heaped teaspoonful of cocoa powder in it, blended it again and it was rendered drinkable. I'm not going to do that again though, I'll just save the other 2 strawberry sachets in my 'to trade' pile along with the repulsive fruits of the forest, the weird butterscotch and the too sweet tomato sachets.

I wasn't hungry yet at lunchtime but I ate some potato and chickpea salad anyway and a few hours later I had an oriental chilli soup sachet which was rather nice, it was even better when I chucked in some fresh coriander. After my soup I was thinking about weighing myself and doing a waist measurement but I'm not sure if it's a good idea today. I did lose a few pounds in the first few days but now it's my TOTM and I tend to swell up a bit, if I haven't lost any more weight yet I would feel quite discouraged even if there is good reason for it.

As my evening meal, to celebrate a (hopefully) successful first week on CD, I poached some smoked haddock that had been sitting in my freezer for a couple of weeks. I only had about 150 grammes with plenty of vegetables and I drank an extra litre of water in the hope that it would balance the saltiness of the fish. So that'll be over 4 litres of water today once I've finished the pint in front of me.

So my first week on CD is drawing to a close and I'm surprised at how much it's changed the way I feel. After my doctors appointment next Tuesday, I'll know if I'm allowed to progress to a lower calorie step very soon, or whether I'll have to lose another stone or so on 1200kcals which might take me some time.

Day 6

I've had a very weird day today, maybe not that weird really, but very weird for me. I've not been hungry at all, not even slightly peckish. I couldn't face any breakfast, I managed to drink a shake but that's all. I decided to try out the vanilla flavour today which was one of the flavours I wasn't looking forward to. I do like good vanilla but bad vanilla is very unpleasant indeed and this stuff was about as nasty as it gets, so I put a big heaped teaspoon of instant coffee in it (as suggested by one of the members of the www.cambridgedieters.com forum) and it was delicious. Lunch was a similar story, I had a very nice lactose free mushroom soup sachet and lots of water and that was all I could manage.

At dinner time, I still wasn't feeling hungry yet but with a couple of chicken breasts in the fridge that needed to be used, I decided to try out the chicken with tomato and mash recipe and it came out really well. After such a frugal day, I did feel obliged to finish it all despite my lack of actual hunger but now I feel overfull and a bit grim really. Because I missed two meals, I don't know if I got enough nutrients, I feel I should try and have another sachet but then I might actually explode.

Day 5

I had a really bad night last night due to fighting cats, late dinners and other stresses, I didn't get to sleep until almost 6AM and I didn't wake up until after 11. I lay awake so long last night, I started feeling really hungry, even after the huge dinner, so I was planning what to eat this morning. I decided on the citrus fruits and yoghurt combo and I thought it might be time to try out one of the shake flavours that I thought I might not like. In the morning, Boyfriend came and woke me as soon as he got in from work and was kind enough to make me a big cup of black coffee which helped me perk up quickly despite my lack of sleep (I'm a real 8 hours per night gal) but by time I was feeling alert, I just wasn't feeling hungry at all. I ate a piece of toast thinking that might get my appetite going but it failed and I struggled to finish it so I decided to have my shake right away and worry about proper food at lunchtime. I chose the fruits of the forest flavour, which along with the strawberry and vanilla, was one of the flavours I was not looking forward to trying and it was pretty horrible. I did manage to drink it but it took 25 minutes, my fault for not splitting into 2 smaller servings really. I still have a sachet of it left, I'm going to try and exchange it when I next see my CDC. Ah well, at least I didn't feel ill any more today.

I wasn't hungry enough to eat again until early evening so I had a very late lunch. I had the potato and chickpea salad and a lactose free leek and potato sachet. It was all really delicious but I did feel like I was forcing it down. For the last couple of days I've still been enjoying my food, but I don't really feel hungry during the day, just late at night when I'm supposed to be sleeping. I'm tempted to try out 1000 kcals per day, but as my CDC is away on holiday until next Monday and I don't see my doctor until Tuesday, I must behave myself.

Hang on, I've just realised I'm moaning about having to eat too much!! Huh?

A couple of hours after my late lunch, I started feeling the need to eat something. I knew I wasn't actually hungry, I just really wanted food so I made myself a big, warm mug of the low salt vegetable bouillon and it had a miraculous effect. When I was thinking about doing CD, I joined the forum at www.cambridgedieters.com and that place is great, full of inspiring stories, lovely supportive people and great tips and advice, like the delicious, hunger killing vegetable drinks.

I had the chicken and noodles for my dinner and the portion was so huge I had to check my scales to make sure they hadn't gone wrong, they were completely accurate! I didn't manage to finish all of my meal again, I don't know how much more of this I can take! I might burst!

Day 4

My boyfriend returned from his weekend away yesterday so from today I had to start thinking about food we could both eat, which was a bit tricky because he works nights. We only usually share one meal a day which would be my dinner/his breakfast and occasionally we share another, which is my lunch/his dinner. He has quite a physical job and needs to eat a lot, I'm adamant I'm going to stick to CD so what I decided to do was to only share 1 meal a day; my dinner/his breakfast and feed him what I'm eating but in much larger quantities. It's at times like this I really look forward to being able to go on SS, then he can sort out his own damned dinners.

This morning I went for a skimpy 150kcal breakfast so I could have a bigger lunch. For my morning sachet I chose the toffee and walnut flavour, I blended it with lots and lots of ice. It came out a lovely thick ice-cream type texture and the flavour was really nice. This is my favourite flavour shake so far and I'll be ordering lots more of these but I still found it a chore to get through. Tomorrow I'm going to divide the sachet in half and have 2 little shakes instead.

At lunchtime I wasn't feeling hungry at all. My stomach had been playing up all morning, I'm hoping it isn't something I ate or drank. In my late teens and early twenties, I had problems with lactose intolerance. I found as I got older that it was manageable if I was sensible and didn't overdo the milky stuff. Most of the shake sachets are milk-powder based, there are a few lactose free soups and shakes and If I can only have those, I don't mind too much but it would be a shame to be limited like that. If I don't feel better in a day or two, I'll start worrying about it. I did manage to consume a vegetable soup sachet and it was very nice, but I struggled to finish it within the 15 minutes. I really couldn't face any proper food at that time so I ate my lunch several hours later.

Because of my late lunch, dinner ended up being very late and I still wasn't feeling too hungry. I cooked the prawn stir-fry with rice and added a few sliced mushrooms and some fresh spinach for luck. It was really good, this has to be my favourite recipe so far (sorry lasagne) and again it was a shockingly large portion but I guess it was mostly lightly cooked, fresh vegetables so I shouldn't worry about it. Although I wasn't very hungry, I still almost cleared my plate and my boyfriend really enjoyed it too. I trebled the quantities in the recipe. I had a third, boyfriend ate a third for his breakfast and the rest went into his lunchbox for him to reheat at work.

Day 3

I'm proud to say I didn't cheat and eat any crackers last night, or anything else for that matter. I did wake up this morning feeling ravenous though and halfway through my regular morning cup of coffee, I had to stop drinking and get some actual food. It's a big deal for me, it used to take me some time to start feeling hungry in the mornings, probably from eating too late the night before.

After an egg and tomato breakfast, I decided I would try out the chocolate shake blended with loads of ice. The result was supposed to be a sort of like ice-cream but it came out more like a McDonalds milkshake consistency which wasn't too bad. Unfortunately, 15 minutes later I still hadn't managed to get through even half of it so I glugged the last bit down and it really hurt my teeth! I find it really difficult to finish the shakes within the 15 minutes recommended (I believe the nutrients start to degrade after that time) but I don't have that problem with the soups. Also I find the shakes leave me feeling really dehydrated, I always really need lots of water right afterwards. I suppose that's not a bad thing really, but I've been feeling slightly dehydrated for a couple of days now. Even though I've been drinking 3 - 4 litres per day, I still have slightly cracked lips and a constantly dry mouth. I'm going to try and drink a bit more water but I don't know how I'm going to find enough hours in the day.

3 pints of water later, it was lunchtime. I had the ham and pasta salad followed by a spicy tomato soup sachet. The soup was quite tasty but not particular spicy and way too sweet, a few grinds of black pepper made it a bit better. Like yesterday, my afternoon was a frenzy of housework. I've had an unreasonable amount of energy for the last 2 days, especially in the afternoons. I really hope it's something to do with CD and I hope it continues. This weekend, I've finished off so many nasty housework jobs that I'd been putting off due to laziness and if I can keep this up, I may even get some more of my decorating done. My kitchen has been half painted for over a year and I aim to get it done this week if I can get some help moving my white-goods about.

My evening meal today was a too salty Quorn burger and a nice bit of salad with a chopped apple in it, followed by a minneola which was a treat! I'd never had one before, I bought them assuming they were a type of orange, it turns out it's a grapefruit/tangerine hybrid. They are sweet and very juicy, they taste quite a lot like tangerines but more robust and slightly more tart, utterly delicious, I highly recommend them.

Day 2 - PM

As I was preparing my breakfast today, I realised that I had forgotten to have my milk quota yesterday so I made my coffee just a half cup but a lot stronger than my usual and topped it up with a big glug of milk. I did have tuna lasagne yesterday which contains milk in the sauce so I'm just hoping that'll do.

For breakfast today I went for some toast then some fruit and yoghurt, perked it up a bit with a good sprinkle of cinnamon. It was pretty good but would have been nicer if the nectarines hadn't been so under-ripe. For my breakfast shake, I tried out the lactose free cappuccino flavour, blended with a few ice cubes and I was really impressed. It was a bit on the sweet side and had a slightly odd salty after-taste, (which I've been told is to do with the added nutrients) but I think it might become a favourite. As with yesterday, the shake made me feel really thirsty and I downed over 2 pints of water before lunch.

By lunchtime, the lure of the frozen leftover tuna lasagne was just too much so I swapped the lunch and dinner I'd planned over. I reheated it and cooked up some broccoli and enjoyed it just as much as I had last night. Not long after lunch my Saturday plans went horribly wrong when I suddenly had a huge burst of un-weekend-like energy! I cleaned every door, light-switch and wall socket in the flat, then went on to clean the whole kitchen, including cupboards, the microwave and even inside the fridge! I blame the diet...

Because of my meal shuffling, I ended up having a 3 course dinner. I tried the much maligned cheese and broccoli soup and it wasn't bad, a little bland though so I added a few grinds of black pepper and a small handful of baby spinach leaves, blended it again and it was delicious! When I next see my CDC, I'm going to ask him if this kind of thing is allowed when I am doing SS (Sole Source, Step 1a - 415-554 kcals). It can't have added more than about 1 kcal so I'm hoping it wont be a problem. Next I had the Potato and Chickpea salad which I struggled to get down my neck, it was nice but again, these recipes look like they are going to make a tiny portion but it's actually pretty substantial. I haven't had my fruit dessert yet, I'm going to save it and have it nearer to bed time. Hopefully that'll stop me cheating like I did last night.

Day 2 - AM

I have a confession to make

Last night I was just drifting off to sleep when I suddenly starting feeling REALLY hungry. I had a few swigs of water but it didn't help and after and hour or so I still hadn't managed to sleep, the hunger pangs were so strong it was almost painful and my guts were making some really odd noises. I had drunk almost a whole pint of water and it wasn't making any difference at all so I decided I had to take action. I went down to the kitchen, ate one oat cracker and within minutes I was feeling 100% better. I managed to fall asleep in about 15 minutes.

This morning, after a really good, sound sleep, I woke up late feeling horribly guilty about my midnight cracker weakness and I had to step on the scales just to reassure myself that I hadn't ruined everything.

The results truly shocked me: I've lost 3lbs!!!! I know it's all just water loss at this stage, but what a start!

Day 1 - First day on 1200 kcals

This morning, I'd worked myself up into such a nervous frenzy, it took me a few hours to make myself eat breakfast! When I finally did, I had the egg, tomato and toast combo. The booklet suggests scrambled egg, grilled tomatoes and toast but I had hard boiled egg, raw sliced tomatoes with loads of black pepper and the bread was so fresh and soft it seemed a tragedy to toast it.

Once that had gone down, I tackled my first sachet of the day. I randomly chose the butterscotch flavoured shake and was unsurprised to find it tasted exactly like butterscotch Angel Delight, so that wasn't too bad but the texture of it was a bit difficult to swallow, kind of thick and almost slimy! It's a similar texture to those mega thick milkshakes that my boyfriend loves but I find too gunky (I think they are called Frijj or something daft like that), so next shake time, I'm going to add a bit more water and see how it goes. It wasn't as overly sweet as I thought it might be, so that was a relief and it didn't turn out all powdery and grim which was a double relief! The big surprises after I'd finished it were how full up I felt and how thirsty I suddenly was. This made my first pint of water of the day a joy and a chore all at the same time!

At lunch time I still wasn't really feeling that hungry, but because I had a really busy afternoon ahead of me, I had to eat something so I made up the pasta, ham and veggies combo which was really delicious and not unlike something I would normally eat. I weighed everything really carefully but the amount of food I made seemed rather excessive. I managed to finish it all but really couldn't manage another sachet at that point.

Late afternoon, I suddenly found myself really hungry. I drank most of a pint of water and waited a while, but it didn't help so I decided it was time for another sachet. I chose chicken and mushroom flavour and although it had a slightly odd powdery texture (despite attacking it with my trusty hand blender) I found the flavour enjoyable albeit in a slightly 'roast chicken crisps' kind of way. I could have almost believed I was consuming actual food!

For my evening meal, I tried out the recipe for Tuna Lasagne and it was absolutely delicious! The portion of broccoli the booklet suggested seemed a bit inadequate though so I added a couple extra small florets, I'm sure an extra couple of mouthfuls of broccoli can't count as cheating. The recipe makes 4 servings, so I packed up the other 3 into separate containers and froze them but I have a funny feeling they won't be staying frozen for very long.

Today I've managed to get through over 5 pints of water which is comfortably over the CD recommended amount, a black coffee and a green tea and all the food and sachets I was supposed to have. I haven't been hungry though, which makes me worry a bit, but I got through the first day without going nuts and stuffing my face with biscuits and cake so I'm very happy.

Sorry it's been such a long rambling blog today, I've probably gone into far too much detail about today's consumption. The first day was the day I was anxious about so I wanted to share all important bits in the hope that it could put other people's minds at ease on their first day of CD 1200kcals. It's easy and tasty, YOU CAN DO IT!!

CD minus 1

Over the last week I've been cutting down my carbohydrates and upping my water consumption in preparation for starting CD and I was quite surprised and really pleased at how easy it's been. I've been having a little bit of bread or something cereal-ish for breakfast and lunch and none with my evening meal and it turns out I drink nearly enough water anway. I cut down on my carbs gradually over the week (with just a couple of tiny and very controlled wobbles when I was offered some rather nice cake) which is probably why it hasn't been too difficult so far.

Today I'm going over to a friend's place for a bit of an 'evening' and she makes great food. I'm not sure if I should have one last munch out before I immerse myself in CD or if I should make this my first test....

I'll see how I feel when I get there.

Feeling a bit gung-ho - Meeting with CDC

My CDC (Cambridge Diet Counsellor) came to visit me this evening and I was impressed at what a pleasant and affable guy he is. He went through some general information about the various stages of the diet, told me a bit about his own experiences on it and he answered every question I had before I had a chance to ask it. I was a bit worried he would be 'salesman-ish' but he wasn't at all and I'm really glad I chose him as my counsellor already. I bought 2 weeks worth of sachets in a selection of flavours to last me through his holiday and he made sure I knew I could contact him if I needed any help, advice or encouragement, even while he was away, bless him. It almost seems a shame that he had to spoil that meeting by measuring me and weighing me and telling me what my BMI is! I hadn't stepped on a set of scales for almost a year because I knew I wasn't going to like what I saw. I had guessed I was going to be around the 20st mark and my scales only go up to 19st.

Much as it pains me to share them, here are my starting stats:

• Weight: 18st 7lb
  
• Waist: 48ins
  
• BMI: 41

If I had l lied about my height and added an extra half inch (which I often do) my BMI might have shown up as 40 but I decided there was no point in kidding anyone about anything at this stage. Consequently, I need to get my doctor's permission to do the really low calorie versions of the diet. I'm starting on Step 4 - 1200kcals per day and I'm hoping to go right down to Step 1 - 415-615kcals as soon as I get my doctor's approval (for a better explanation of the stages CLICK HERE) I've decided not to fix a target weight but I'm heading for the 12st mark and I'll see how I feel and look when I get there. I have a tendency to be quite muscular and even when I was at my skinniest in my early 20s, I never got below 10st 8lbs and a size 14, even when all my ribs were clearly visible and my face went all skeletal. I'm an actual big-boned lass!

Although I don't weigh as much as I thought I might, I still feel a pretty disgusted with myself but I'm using that to help motivate me even more and believe me, I feel pretty darned motivated already! In fact I feel like starting right now but I'm going to hold off until Friday as planned because my CDC has arranged to visit me Thursday after next which will make it a nice tidy 2 weeks before my next torture..... I mean weighing and measuring session.

The Jitters!

My boyfriend is going away for the weekend so I'm planning to start my diet then. I just get the feeling that it'll be easier to go through those first few tricky days one my own without having to watch anyone eating proper real food that I can't have. I know it's a few days away but I'm already starting to get the nervous jitters. I know I'll be fine really, I managed to quit smoking cold turkey a couple of years ago so if I can do that, I can probably do most things

Yesterday I spoke to my counsellor for the first time. We had a little chat over the phone and he seems really pleasant, friendly and understanding. I'm lucky enough to live in an area where I have a choice of local counsellors and I agonised and procrastinated about picking one and getting in touch but after our brief natter I already feel like I chose the right one. He seems so nice and he explained things very clearly, I'm really looking forward to meeting him, even though he's going to weigh me. I don't really want to know how much I weigh, I wonder if I can ask him to not tell me how much I actually weigh, perhaps he could just tell me how much weight I've lost at each weigh in.......

Anyway, my counsellor is coming over to see me tomorrow with loads of sachets. I've asked for some of each of everything (except banana, I bloody HATE bananas!) so I can find out what I like. I think it's a shame there are so many sweet flavours but so few savoury. It's not that I don't have a sweet tooth but I'm just not used to having sweet things everyday.

Yet Another CD Blog

Yes, that's right, it's yet another Cambridge Diet blog!

I know that there are many other CD blogs around, I've read quite a few of them but I don't think there can ever be too many. This diet is different for every person who does it, everyone feels different, everyone seems to struggle at different points (or not) and every person's CD experience is as unique as they are.

I'm planning to document my experience on CD in the hope that it can help other dieters and potential dieters in the same kind way that all the existing blogs have helped me. If there hadn't been so many personal and detailed blogs about CD (and also Lighter Life which seems to be similar to Cambridge) I would never have decided to do it myself.

Thank you for sharing!