Days 103 + 104

I've been struggling for the last couple of days to get back on the wagon. It's been way harder than I thought it would be and despite my good intentions, I keep eating utter rubbish. Not in huge amounts or anything, just enough to keep me well out of ketosis. It seems to be a combination of my well-meaning, feeder boyfriend and my terrible pastry habit keeping me down at the moment so I'm going to try and use New Year's Day (tomorrow) as a new starting point and just beg him to stop buying pies until I get my act together.

I had a little unofficial weighing session today to see what sort of damage I'd done to my weight over the last week and it wasn't too bad really, I'm 15st 8lbs now. It does mean I completely missed my '15st by Xmas trip' goal but hey, I'm only human and I still weigh 3 stones less than I did just over 3 months ago!

Days 97 - 102 - Diet break

I haven't posted for almost a week due to illness and being busy in equal measures. I had some time off CD while I recovered from my horrible sore throat and then when I went to visit some family and friends in Berkshire. In the end, my throat problem lasted an entire week, maybe if I had stopped the diet sooner, I would have recovered a little sooner but it worked out OK just about as I suddenly started feeling a lot better just 1 day before I was due to go to Berkshire.

I really enjoyed my time away. I got to spend some time with my granny and cleverly timed my visits so they were between mealtimes so she didn't force-feed me until I burst. I also spent some time with 2 of my oldest, dearest friends. I hadn't intended to, but I did get rather drunk on Saturday night but I certainly won't be doing that again in a hurry seeing as I'm aiming to be back in ketosis by the end of this week at the very latest. I'm not doing anything for New Year's eve, apart from maybe watching the fireworks from the roof of the flats so I'll just wean myself off the carbs over the next few days and with any luck, I'll shed the extra 4lbs I put on over the last week very quickly.

I was expecting to feel tempted to overeat when I took a break from the diet but I really wasn't. I've probably had my most sensible Xmas eating ever this year. I think it's because I've still been having the occasional CD sachet or bar and I've been knocking back good quantities of water and peppermint tea.

Day 96 - Meeting with CDC

Today's CDC meeting didn't last very long because I can barely speak but I managed to explain to him what has been going on with the diet lately and how hard I'm finding it. He told me to stop worrying about it and just eat sensibly until I feel better. I'm going to keep having the sachets and bars though, a few good nutrients can't hurt. I've bought a few chocolate tetras for when I go away and I'm quite looking forward to trying them. By the sound of it, they are quite sweet and thick so I'm prepared to water them down if they are a bit too much for me, it's got to be easier than preparing sachets on the go!

Anyway, this weeks weigh in results were OK:

• Weight: 15st 4lb
• BMI: 34

I'm pretty happy with that loss, it may not be as much as previous losses but considering how much I cheated and the fact that I'm not in ketosis any more, that's not too bad. I know that when my health is better and I'm getting more sleep I'll be able to get back on track without too much difficulty and hopefully, the losses will be a bit better then.

Day 95

Because I slept all day yesterday I was up all night and had to take a nap this afternoon for a few hours. The diet went sort of OK for most of the day, during the night I had a chocolate CD bar and a vegetable soup sachet then a few hours later, some mushrooms and pollack. Everything went fine up until boyfriend got home from work feeling hungry then I talked him into going out and buying me a burger! (yes that's right, 'I' talked 'HIM' into it!) Of course I'm completely out of ketosis due to my weekend's eating and it's going to get much harder to get things under control because of it but I will do my best.

I had to step on the scales today to see how much damage I'd done and the results weren't too bad, I'm about 15st 4lbs which means I've lost around 5lbs in the last 2 weeks. It's still a decent loss, but I don't feel like I deserve it.

I'm just praying I get a decent night's sleep tonight.

Days 92 - 94 - First day back on 810kcals

On Friday I would have liked to be in a celebratory mood but I failed miserably. I had plenty to celebrate, it had been exactly 3 calendar months since I started CD and was the first day back on 810kcals per day for the week over Xmas but my sore throat had turned into an 'Oh my god I can't swallow' throat and I was feeling weak, run-down and sorry for myself. I really did feel like curling up under a duvet on the sofa all day and wallowing in self pity but I had way too much to do to prepare for the Solstice eve family dinner the following day.

The diet went completely to the wall that day too. It had originally started off with a rule bend/break of some battered cod but later that evening, after lots and lots of dashing about, supermarket shopping and things, I ate some chips reheated in the microwave! I don't know how it came to that because I'm not a chip fan anyway, and reheated chips are awful, but I somehow managed to enjoy them. I only had 2 CD sachets that day too I'm ashamed to say. If I'd had another when I got home maybe I could have avoided the chips.

That night, my throat got even worse and I only managed to get 3 hours of sleep before the pain of swallowing woke me up. As soon as I possibly could I went to a pharmacy and got some super strong throat numbing spray and luckily it really helped. After another dash around the supermarket with the boyfriend, I got on with the cooking for the solstice eve dinner. I cooked a huge joint of pork, some home-made chestnut, mushroom and millet stuffing (I made up the recipe on the fly, it turned out very well), roasted carrots and parsnips with rosemary and honey, roast sweet potatoes, some savoy cabbage and proper home-made gravy. My brother turned up early and helped me with some of the prep which really helped make the cooking easier for poor sickly me.

I went slightly nuts with the food but not completely out of control and I'm sort of semi proud of myself. I did have some of the stuffing because it was a made-up-as-I-went-along recipe and I couldn't feed it to anyone unless it was good. I had a small helping along with my well trimmed pork, savoy cabbage and gravy. I managed to resist the lure of the roasted root veggies and that was really difficult but I did it! However, I did weaken in the end and had some of the pork crackling and an extra helping of stuffing but I still steered clear of those sweet tasty roast vegetables!

After lots of clearing up, I finally got to bed around midnight on Saturday but woke up again a little after 4AM with terrible throat pain, coughing and gasping for breath. I did my best to get back to sleep but it wasn't happening and I ate a little of the leftover pork with some savoy cabbage and gravy which actually really helped and I managed to get back to sleep about 8ish. I woke up again around lunchtime feeling even worse, sprayed my throat and went back to sleep and woke again around 6PM to find a text message from my CDC asking if it was OK for him to move our meeting to Tuesday instead of Monday. I was quite pleased since I had spent the whole of that day sleeping already, I just hope I can get my sleeping pattern into some sort of control by then really. I eventually woke up enough to get up around 11PM, I pretty much slept for the whole day and I still don't feel any better.

As soon as it's a reasonable time in the morning, I'm going to have to cancel all my plans for tomorrow because I can't speak and I feel awful. I've also got no enthusiasm for the diet at all, I've been having all my water but I keep missing sachets and having extra food and blaming my illness. I'm going to do my best to reign it in on Monday otherwise my weigh-in on Tuesday is going to be pretty depressing.

Day 91

I only had about 5 hours sleep again last night. I woke up well before 5:30am feeling completely alert but like my throat had been sandblasted and had a CD soup sachet in bed about an hour later as the central heating warmed my flat up a bit. Around 8AM I started to feel really tired again so I though I would have a nap until boyfriend got home from work. I sort of semi-remember him coming and talking to me at some point but don't remember the conversation apart from me refusing a cup of coffee. When I eventually woke up properly, it was after 4PM so it looks like all the poor sleep nights I had recently caught up with me at once!

I've drunk over 3 litres of water and peppermint tea today but my lips are still dry and a little cracked so I'm going to blame whatever is making my throat feel so raw and painful. I don't seem to have a proper cold, I just feel really horrible but I do still intend to cook a big meal for my friends and family on Saturday for Winter Solstice eve. I've been planning this mini get together for almost a month and I'm really looking forward to it seeing as I'm doing nothing at all for Xmas.

Tomorrow I change plans up to 810kcals per day for the next week. I had originally planned to go back down to SS+ the week after that but as I'll be visiting friends and family that week I may have to move up to 1000kcals per day for that week then start going back down the steps the following week. I'm seeing my CDC earlier in the week than usual, on Monday, I'll ask him about it then.

Day 90

My friend left today, she's off to Thailand for the rest of the winter which is a very sensible thing to do if you ask me. For the 2 nights she has been here, I've not really been getting much sleep, about 4-5 hours each night so I really hope I can do a bit better than that tonight. It's nothing to do with my guest at all, it's just an unfortunate coincidence that I have someone staying and am also having trouble sleeping. I'm feeling so worn out but because the boyfriend works nights, I don't want to go to bed until he gets up otherwise I wake him up when I go to bed and he wakes me when he gets up so I'm going to try and wait until about midnight if I can.

On the CD front, I've had a bit of a naughty day. I did manage to eat all my 3 CD meals but for my SS+ meal I had some of the pork I was cooking for the boyfriend which is way too fatty for CD. I didn't have a huge amount, I did really enjoy it and it meant I didn't have to go out shopping in my exhausted state so there will be no regrets and strictly no beating myself up about it.

As the evening is wearing on, I've been finding my throat is feeling more and more like I've been gargling with broken glass. Also, while I've been typing this, I've had a few sneezing fits and gone through about 10 tissues so I'm beginning to think I'm coming down with a cold. This is bad news for a couple of reasons, one being that it's getting perilously close to my Winter Solstice family dinner and the other being that I've no idea how hard it's going to be for my body to deal with on CD. I know I'm getting good nutrition on this diet so that's not worrying me, but my normal practises when I have a cold involve drinking honey and lemon and eating lots of garlic and I can't do either of those things. I think I'm just going to have to look for some sugar free throat sweets tomorrow.

Days 88 + 89

It's been a pleasant couple of days and the diet has been going really well. I've had 2 days of almost perfect SS and a little taste of tuna sashimi yesterday and a small piece of chicken today. I've a friend staying for a couple of days and have had no problems watching her eat. I think I might have trouble watching a whole roomful of people eat, but one person munching away in the same room as me does not bother me in the slightest. It's a good job really, my poor boyfriend would have starved to death by now otherwise.

It's also been a couple of days of many great compliments, everyone has been telling me how great I look. I've been feeling a little bored with the diet for the last few days but I'm getting so many positive comments recently, it's really helping me to keep going. I'm about halfway to my goal weight and I really feel like I can make it.

Because it's non-CDC week this week, I've had a little weighing and measuring session today and I've lost another 3lbs and finally managed to shed another inch from my waist. If I keep going at this rate, I'll be bang on target for my '15st by family visiting time' mini-goal, although my grey jeans may fall down in front of my granny! Luckily, I dug out a pair of slightly smaller black flared jeans a couple of days ago that I had completely forgotten about, although I do prefer closer fitting jeans at this time of year because they are less draughty and I'm really feeling the cold this winter. Maybe long thermal socks is the answer, anything to avoid clothes shopping!

Days 86 + 87

I woke up very early on Saturday morning after a decent night's sleep feeling nice and refreshed and decided to have some poached cod and broccoli for breakfast. It's not a normal sort of breakfast but I knew I had such a lot to do that day I may not have time to cook later on so I got my SS+ meal out of the way first thing. I cooked, made myself some peppermint tea and grabbed some Star Trek Voyager DVDs and headed back to bed for a leisurely breakfast in bed and a healthy dose of 6AM sci-fi. The next thing I knew, it was lunchtime and I woke up with the empty plate and a happy cat licking all the fish flavour up on my lap. I hadn't even felt tired, I was just trying to keep warm while the heating had a chance to warm the flat up a bit. It managed to miss the whole morning and throw my sleep pattern and my weekend plans into chaos.

I spent most of that afternoon tackling some housework and putting the finishing touches to an ear-flap hat I'd crocheted for myself then went over to help my sister hook up her broadband. Even though I took a bar out with me, I didn't get a chance to eat it and I had all three CD meals that evening. I also forgot to eat on Sunday until mid afternoon when boyfriend got home with some chicken for me. I didn't have my first sachet of the day until about 7PM, it just slipped my mind. I'm not happy that I keep forgetting my meals lately, my confusing sleep patterns don't help either, routines just don't exist.

Earlier today, I had a good sort through the clothes in my wardrobe that I haven't looked at for a while to see what fits these days and found lots of things I had forgotten about. I found another pair of jeans that are a little smaller than the grey ones I've been wearing, they fit around my hips but I need to lose a couple of inches from my waist before I can wear them. I also found some trousers I'd never worn and frankly, I don't even remember buying them. They are black with purple satin trim and they are sort of combat trouser style, quite odd but not ugly. I also found a few rather nice goth type clothes that I had forgotten about and they all nearly fit me. Looks like I'll have some nice things to wear in a few weeks and I can avoid shopping for a bit longer.

Days 84 + 85

After the last post, just before bed, I decided to do a ketostix test and I was in ketosis as I suspected. Needless to say, the last 2 days have gone quite well because I'm not feeling as hungry as I did last week.

Even after my long day on Wednesday after very little sleep, I only managed to get 4 hours sleep that night but luckily, I only had to go and see 1 client on Thursday afternoon and spent the rest of the day just pottering about, crocheting and tidying up my poor messy flat. When I got home from work and shopping, I realised I had only had 1 sachet so far that day so I had a bowl of mousse but really couldn't manage any more. I even unwrapped a peanut bar and chopped it up, but I just couldn't face eating it that night.

After 2 nights of skimpy sleep, I was a bit worried about getting a decent amount of sleep but today I woke up feeling great after sleeping solidly for almost 10 hours. I was working from home for most of the afternoon so it was a nice restful day for me with just a quick stomp to the High Street in the late afternoon for a change of scenery. I was feeling quite hungry in the morning so a few hours after my soup sachet, I had some canned tuna and spinach in sensible quantities, which really hit the spot. I may not have stuck to SS for the rest of the week as I had intended, but I'm not upset with myself, I didn't overdo it and I feel fine.

I recently heard from a very good old friend who I don't see very often. He's invited me over to see him when I go and see my family after Xmas. I need to think about what I'm going to do quite carefully because he's the only person I like getting drunk with and also, I really don't want to tell him I'm doing CD, he wouldn't understand. I think his plan consists of some sort of dinner and lots of good wine, and knowing him, it'll be some extremely good wine. I'm not really a drinker normally but I do like certain wines very much and he is a genius at picking just the right ones. So I need to have a good ponder about what I'm going to do about this, I may not see him again for another year so I don't want to get out of it. Maybe I'll have to go up to a higher plan for a while to cope with the booze then get right back on with SS afterwards. Any advice or suggestions?

Day 83

Today I had to go and see a client I haven't seen for almost a year. She didn't mention my weight but did say I was looking good! She also gave me my first Xmas gift (a kitten calender) and card (also somewhat catty) of the year which cheered me up no end. What cheered me up even more was taking a chance and going out in the grey jeans and finding that after 10 minutes walking they stretched a little bit and aren't too tight at all. They are the only jeans I have that fit me now so when these get too big, I'll have to actually buy some new ones. I think I fancy something in purple this time, for too long I've been wearing boring indigo and black. I may even dye these grey ones in a few days then when they don't fit me any more, I can sell them on Ebay as 'unique, modified, one of a kind, DIY jeans' instead of 'cheap, boring £15 jeans from Tesco'.

I've no idea if I'm back in ketosis yet, I've spent the day trying not to think about it too much, but I've not been hungry at all. Also, I've been feeling really great and full of energy, even though I only got 3 hours sleep last night, so I'd say that was a pretty good sign. On the way to and from work I was stomping about with complete disregard for my knee problems, I must have walked about 2 miles altogether. Even though my knee is throbbing and a little swollen now, I don't care. I really remembered how much I used to love walking today and I'm getting excited about being able to get back on my bike soon, as long as everything goes OK with my upcoming physiotherapy. I've only managed to have 2 sachets today, I've been pretty busy and I've no appetite so I haven't even had my SS+ meal. I'm proud to say it's been a pure sole source day and I'm going to do my very best to keep on SS for the rest of this week. I'll just have to make sure I remember to munch down a bar before I go to bed because I really can't face another sachet right now.

Days 81 + 82 - Meeting with CDC

Monday was a bit boring, I didn't even leave the house, just pottered around and played with metres and metres of tangled wool - thanks cats! I did manage to stick to SS+ more or less, but in the evening I cooked some haricot beans in a tomato sauce for the boyfriend and had to taste it to check the spices and seasoning. It was really nice and I tasted it a few more times but managed to resist a whole bowlful by some miracle.

I was thinking last night about the foods I find it hardest to resist and what sort of food I normally cheat with. I've made a little list of the foods I am missing the most these days:

• pulses, especially cannellini beans, kala chana and lentils
• onions and garlic
• fruit, especially raisins and apples
• smoked fish
• oats, especially in the form of oatcakes, both kinds, crackers and pancake type
• sweet potatoes
• parsnips
• pastry
• steak
  

I don't really miss bread as much as I thought I would and although I miss some starchy things, I don't miss potatoes, rice or pasta particularly. I miss red meat most of all and do have it occasionally and I've cheated by eating a bit of smoked fish a couple of times, although I tend to drink extra water with the smoked fish to try and balance out the extra salt. I'm just glad I can usually resist the fruit, sweet potato and oats, if anything was going to kick me out of ketosis it would be those. I'm also thankful that I'm not a chocoholic, the CD bars and chocolate flavoured sachets are more than enough for me, but I would be pleased if they had a 80% cocoa solids version. I like my chocolate bitter.

Today I had a meeting with my CDC and my official weigh in so here are my newest stats:

• Weight: 15st 9lb
• BMI: 34.8

I'm so pleased to be in the '15s' I don't really know what to say, apart from I feel very smug. If I keep losing at this rate I should reach my 15st mini goal around the time I hoped to, which is exciting because it marks the halfway point of my CD journey. When I first started this diet I wasn't sure how long I would keep it up, I half expected to run out of steam after a couple of weeks but the fast results and the enthusiasm of my CDC, my friends and my siblings has kept me going. I'm pretty sure I'm going to keep persevering past my original 12st goal and see if I can get to 11st if I'm not getting too skinny and weird looking by then.

I promised myself I would celebrate when I'd reached the 3 stones lost mark and I certainly did! The boyfriend bought me a nice little steak which I griddled and some fresh spinach which I steamed to go with it. I enjoyed it very much but would have enjoyed it more if I could have shared it with him. Damn his unsociable hours!

Days 78 - 80

The last few days have been part busy and part weird but I've managed to stick to SS+ with no great difficulty.

I went to see my doctor on Friday morning about my TOTM problems and have loads of blood-tests lined up now. I'll have to find out if it's OK to do things like that on SS or SS+, I'm fairly sure it will seeing as it's just a few vials and not a pint of blood. It'll be great to get some answers finally and hopefully it'll have an impact on my sleep problems too as they seem to be quite closely related.

On Saturday, I braved Oxford Street to pick up a few bits and bobs for family Xmas gifts. I thought as it was pedestrianised for the day it might not be as bad as usual but I was completely and utterly wrong. The horror! Not only was it outrageously crowded with rabid bargain-hunters but there were several bands playing in the street, loads of leafleters and more charity muggers that you can even imagine. It was crowded, noisy and horrible but I still managed to get the things I was after and even tried on a couple of pairs of shoes I liked and all without going mad and murdering a random shopper or two.

The jeans I have been wearing recently are a bit on the baggy/falling off side so I decided to go out in my mini-goal black jeans. They seemed to fit OK at first but after a couple of hours of wear, they started to fall down every couple of minutes and I ended up spending the whole afternoon hitching them up repeatedly. I am going to call it a success but it didn't feel like one at the time. When I got home I tried on some grey jeans I haven't worn for 2 years. They are a rather small size 18 and they are a little tight on me but I think once they stretch after a couple hours wear, they should fit fine and if not, they will probably fit me in a couple of weeks time at the rate I'm shrinking.

After a very patchy night, I spent most Sunday sleeping but I had time to do some work on a project I'm part way through. Even though I've been behaving myself and sticking to the diet, I've been feeling really hungry pretty much all week. I've only got a few Ketostix left so I've been trying to save them but I decided to use one anyway and it turns out either I'm still not in ketosis after my munch out last weekend or they are giving a false reading. I'm going to do my very best not to stress about it and just get on with CD and hope for the best.

Days 76 + 77

I've had another odd couple of days because of my bizarre sleep pattern and various other things. On Wednesday I was expecting a parcel to arrive but as I had been awake all night on Tuesday night I had to take a 3 hour nap at lunchtime. I did manage to stay awake until the boyfriend got home from work so he could accept the delivery on my behalf and I woke up again before he had to get to sleep.

Annoyingly, the parcel failed to arrive that day which messed up my plans for the rest of the week. I'd been waiting for a part to repair a computer and I was supposed to be fitting the part that evening so not only did I have to reschedule the delivery but also the appointment to fit the part and rescue the poor computer. According to the tracking on the website, the delivery driver had attempted delivery at lunchtime but found nobody at home, which was a complete and utter filthy lie. I've had the same problem with this courier company on a number of occasions and have made a couple official complaints. I have a feeling that the area I live in is usually served by the same lazy delivery driver who can't be bothered to get out of his van, I regularly order computer parts from 2 different online shops that both use this courier company and this happens with annoying regularity.

I had to go and lay down mid-evening because I was in so much pain and the paracetamol wasn't touching it. The plan was to curl up in bed and watch some DVDs, drink some peppermint tea and have a soup sachet at some point. As I'd only been awake a few hours, I wasn't expecting to fall asleep but a few hours later, I woke up with a half full cup of tea still in my hand and the DVD's menu playing over and over in a hypnotic loop. I stumbled downstairs and got a drink but I couldn't face any soup so I went back to bed and slept for a over 8 hours. Consequently, I missed out 1 CD meal that day and I didn't drink enough either, at least I got some sort of sleep pattern back though.

I did manage to fit in an unofficial weigh-in on Wednesday somehow and was pleased (and quite amazed) to discover I've lost 4lbs in the last week. I don't know how I managed it with my pork-pie weekend, TOTM and the fact I've been doing SS+, but I'm still bang on target for my 15st by Xmas mini-goal so maybe a little food has helped. I also did a waist measurement but it hasn't changed at all, I guess there are plenty of places on my body I can lose flab from. My arms, legs, face and neck are looking quite different and the boyfriend tells me my bum is changing for the better too.

Thursday was a little more 'normal'. I spent the day waiting in for the parcel again and also working on creative fun things to try and keep my mind off the possibility of my delivery not turning up again. By just after 5pm I knew it wasn't going to arrive so I called up the head office to register a complaint. I make a point of always being particularly pleasant to call centre workers as not only do they have a pretty boring job but it can be very stressful too with loads of people phoning them up and shouting and ranting at them about things which are not their fault that they can do nothing about, so I try and be as patient and friendly as possible. I think it makes a nice change for them because they often go out of their way to help me and today was no exception. I spoke to a very polite, helpful young man called Tom who not only sorted out an evening delivery for me (instead of just telling me to call my local depot and reschedule for another day, which is what I would normally have to do), which involved him calling the local depot twice and calling me back twice, but also mentioned to me that his shift officially ended 1 minute into my call. Of course I was very apologetic and asked him if he would get paid any overtime for staying on an extra half hour. He said he wouldn't but he didn't mind helping me out at all, what a lovely chap!

The parcel arrived around 8pm which goes to show that this courier company CAN do what they are supposed to, it must just be a few lazy drivers letting the whole side down. I celebrated with a nice cup of peppermint tea and a lovely chewy chocolate CD bar. Aside from the sleep strangeness and parcel related stress, my dieting has been OK, I missed one sachet on Wednesday but had everything I should have and nothing I shouldn't today. Despite feeling quite run down and a bit ill from my TOTM, I feel pretty good and quite positive about the CD. I even braved my favourite black jeans today and they are even closer to fitting me than they were a week ago even though my waist hasn't shrunk. I must have lost a little around the hips, another few days and I think I'll be wearing them out in public at last!

Day 75

My TOTM finally started properly today and I'm in terrible pain and desperate for steak again. I knew it was on it's way because I've had all the classic symptoms, the need to comfort eat, disturbed sleep patterns, pain, bloating and all the other horribleness that goes along with it. I'm a little disappointed the the steak craving has come back again so strongly this month as I've been taking an iron supplement for a week already, I started taking it the very second I felt my PMS symptoms. I'm pretty sure that my nausea yesterday was also to do with it. It went away too quickly to be a bug or a touch of food poisoning but it literally floored me and if I hadn't gone to sleep for another few hours, I have no idea how I would have coped with the day.

Naturally, I didn't get to sleep until about 6 this morning and even then, I only managed to get 3 hours sleep. I woke up at 9am feeling surprisingly bright and alert and decided on some chicken and mushrooms and a huge mug of green tea for breakfast. As soon as it was finished, I fell asleep again for an extra 3 hours which messed up my day somewhat but I obviously needed it. Luckily I woke up in time for my friend to come and visit for the afternoon. Although I saw him just a couple of weeks ago, he said I looked quite different today which is so encouraging, especially as the only jeans which fit me right now (in fact they have been getting a little loose lately) were feeling quite tight around the waist today due to TOTM bloating. He said my weight-loss is quite noticeable around my face and a few other people have mentioned similar things. It's nice to think about only having one chin again.

Apart from feeling sorry for myself and quite sore, the rest of the day went OK diet-wise. I baked a huge batch of flapjacks on Sunday and have given most of them away to family and friends but there are still quite a few saved for the hard-working boyfriend. Even though it's my TOTM, I haven't eaten a single one. Where is my medal?

Days 72 - 74

I decided to have an SS+ day on Saturday so I could have a meal with the boyfriend but didn't pay enough attention to the salad I and knocked myself right out of ketosis by eating a load of raw onions.

Of course, I spent Sunday feeling incredibly hungry and a bit miserable. I had to go supermarket shopping and I usually take a litre bottle of water with me, it can really help with any cravings I might get. Unfortunately, I completely forgot to take any so I tried to dash round as quick as I could and just be good but the lure of pork pies was just too much. I fed some of them to the boyfriend but I ate a couple of them too. I figured it wouldn't matter seeing as I wasn't in ketosis anyway. What a fool!

I woke up very late this morning feeling really ill. Every time I moved I thought I would throw up. I went downstairs for some water but ended up sitting on the kitchen floor for a few minutes feeling grim and a bit sorry for myself. Eventually, the boyfriend helped me back up to bed and I fell asleep for a few more hours. I woke up mid-afternoon feeling much better, in fact I was feeling great which was a relief seeing as I had to go to work for a few hours in the evening.

Today I've managed to stick to SS+ quite easily, I wasn't tempted to cheat at all. I had my 3 sachets, one in the form of a delicious chocolate mousse and a small meal of chicken and spinach. I don't feel too bad about yesterday's cheating, I do have quite bad PMS right now and I'm sort of surprised it has gone so well as before CD, I used to do far more foolish things just before TOTM to try and alleviate the discomfort and unpleasant feelings. I guess this is all stuff I need to learn to deal with for a slimmer life.