Day 49

My sleep pattern is all messed up now, I managed to get to sleep at 7am and woke up about 1pm today, same kind of hours as the day before. I only had one job today and it was at 5pm so that wasn't a problem but if I can't get my sleep the right way around it's going to make things very complicated soon. So the plan for tonight is to drink plenty of coffee and stay up all night and try not to sleep until late afternoon or early evening tomorrow. I've got a nice fun creative work project that I can get on with or I can get on with one of my unfinished crochet projects so I definitely won't be bored. I'm not quite sure how I'll space my sachets out though, I guess as evenly as possible would be best but seeing as I don't know how long my day will be, I'll just have to do my best to be sensible. I know the next day will have to be very long too, if I'm going to sleep early evening, I'll probably wake up in the early hours of the morning. I think if I try and have 5 sachets altogether before I go to sleep tomorrow then 4 the next day that'll probably be about right.

In my pre-CD-life, in these situations, I would just eat when I wanted to which frequently ended up being a bit of binge. The problem is that when I'm tired I may not always be able to sleep but I know I'm tired and my body knows it needs energy so I tended to feel really hungry. I'd crave lots of meat and veggies and proper food as well as sugary things and usually I would just eat whatever I wanted. This is the first time since CD I've tried to 'loop-the-loop' my sleep in this way and I'm a bit worried about it to say the least. Luckily, the only sweet things in the house are my CD shake sachets, so that should help.

I've been sleep juggling on and off like this for many years now, since I was about 12 years old. School was a horrific experience because of it and full time work was really difficult too. I did manage to work regular full time hours for a few years although I favoured unskilled work because my brain turns to custard when I haven't had enough/any sleep and I tended to do agency work so I could chop and change my hours around when things got tricky sleep-wise. These days, because I am self employed and work from home, I can choose which projects and clients to take on, decide my own hours and generally work around the sleep problems when they arise AND I get to use my brain for things that interest me!