Days 61 + 62

I've had no work so far this week and I've been at a bit of a loose end. I was hoping to use this time to relax and let my painful knees recover a little before my Thursday and Friday appointments but it's not really worked out that way and I've found myself feeling quite bored, despite all my half finished crochet projects. I'm just finding it hard to get motivated which is a shame as I have lots of reading and research to catch up on and lots of arty/crafty stuff to do. I think it's my lack of energy, and I know that is to do with the menstrual problems I'm having (still). I have an appointment with my doctor but it isn't for a couple of weeks so I'll either have to put up with feeling horrible and exhausted all the time or try and blag an emergency appointment which is like trying to get blood from a stone! You have to phone the surgery at 8:30AM sharp and be prepared to see whichever doctor can fit you in, which may involve seeing a locum who I've never met before or seeing the rude old fart doctor who thinks everyone should just 'Snap out of it!'

After Monday's positivity, I really let myself down on Tuesday. I was feeling hungry for carbs, I've never had a craving for them on CD before, I've always had meat or veggie cravings but that day all I wanted was pasta or noodles or chips and it was making me feel really miserable and slightly unhinged. I did a Ketostix test and I was still very much in ketosis as I had expected but the hunger was so strong it was really preoccupying my mind so I decided to go to our local Zavvi with the boyfriend and treat myself to a DVD to cheer me up. We had a nice little stroll around, visited the local second-hand bookshop and then had a look around Zavvi. Boyfriend bought himself a couple of good books and I bought 2 series of 'On The Buses' (only 2 more series to get then I have the complete collection!!) and we strolled home at a leisurely pace. On the way back I manage to talk myself into feeling OK about having a cheeseburger even though I knew that it would knock me out of ketosis, I don't know how I let myself be so stupid. I was even daft enough to steal some of boyfriend's chips! I just can't understand how one day I can be so well behaved and then talk myself into thinking that something so daft is an OK thing to do.

This morning, no surprise, I wasn't in ketosis any more and I've spent the day feeling really hungry and a bit embarrassed. I thought a good way to soften the blow would be to have a Sole Source Plus sized meal so I had a portion of tuna sashimi and some dry fried mushrooms, which worked out at about 90kcals for the lot, and it does seem to have helped me because I got through the rest of the day without going near the cheese in the fridge. I also gave myself an unofficial weigh-in and I've lost 3lbs since last week which is not as good as some weeks but not too bad for a glutton.

I'm off to get an early night now and hope that I can get my act together tomorrow. I have to go out to see a client in the afternoon and might gawk at some hideous granny shoes on the way home, that should keep me away from the food.