Day 38

Well, after yesterday's blog, things went a bit wrong again. I managed to get to bedtime without eating or feeling hungry, I had all my sachets and plenty of liquids and was feeling so pleased with myself. I went to bed around midnight feeling tired and happy but at 2am I was still awake and starting to feel very hungry indeed. I drunk some more water but it didn't help at all, I had a cup of bouillon but it didn't make any difference and by 3:30 I was starting to feel a bit sick so I decided I had to do something about it. I mulled it over for a few minutes, I wasn't sure if I should have a small SS+ type meal or if I should have an extra sachet so I wondered down to the kitchen to ponder and my cats all mobbed me and pretty much made a decision for me. I split a can of tuna with them and had a few slices of cucumber with it and although it wasn't much, it really hit the spot. I managed to get to sleep at about 5am and got a good 6 hours of sleep, although I was a bit confused when I woke up, due to forgetting about the clocks changing.

I'm not going to beat myself up about my mini meal last night. It was a carefully thought out cheat and because I have this kind of sleep problem quite often, I'm going to have a chat about it with my CDC when I see him on Wednesday and hopefully he can help me come up with a plan of what to do on 'insomnia' nights. I know that in my pre-CD life, sleepless nights were times when I often over ate, partly because I get really hungry when it's been 8 hours since dinner but also for comfort. Ask any insomniac, it's a lonely and frustrating problem!

Things have been going a lot better today. Because I woke up late, I didn't have my first sachet of the day until early afternoon. I treated myself to a toffee and walnut, blended up with loads of ice into an ice-cream type texture. It was pretty darn delicious but I noticed there was the same grim after-taste as I had noticed with the mousses. I know it's not just with this flavour, I've had it with the chocolate and the vanilla too, but I discovered today that the flavour of white tea disguises it quite well, which is a relief as although I have more soups than shakes in general, I think limiting myself to soup only would only lead to chocolate disaster!

It's nearly midnight now and I've just had my final sachet of the day; a nice warm potato and leek soup, good fake comfort food. I'm tired and feeling quite full so hopefully, there shouldn't be a repeat of last night. I'd better nip off to bed quickly while I'm still tired.....